Thursday, June 01, 2006

Oh, those insane right-wingers

You've just gotta see this. You remember when those US marines massacred those Iraqi civilians in Haditha and we were all like "hey man, that ain't right, it's not cricket" and the conservatives were all like "oh shut the fuck up, no one's killed anyone, you're just dreaming", and then, it was found out that there actually had been a massacre? You remember that?

Well, Glenn Reynolds, or as he's known in the community of premature ejaculators, "Instapundit", does remember, and he's fiercely unapologetic about it. In fact, he goes on the offensive. Now that it has been conclusively determined that US marines DID actually slaughter Iraqi civilians in cold blood and the media DID cover it as they should have, instead of shoving it in a box and burying it in the backyard, Mr Reynolds approvingly cites an email from one of his dumber-that-a-box-of-hammers readers who says, and I am summarizing his argument, that the "Anti-American Left", you know, the one that likes to provide comfort, support, food and blowjobs to the enemy by criticizing the war crimes perpetrated by US troops on Iraqi civilians, should stop engaging in such foolish acts.

Why? 'Cause if we keep reminding the good saintly members of the pro-war brigade about all those dead civilians and all those blood n brain-covered mistakes of this war, those poor darling war-pigs and their already over-taxed conscience might just throw in the towel and say, "Oh for the love of God, if I'm being denounced just because I killed a few civilians to let off some steam, I should probably just go ahead and indulge in a no-holds-barred civilian-killing orgy from now on 'cause that's what those anti-war judgmental assholes would be expecting from us". Now that is just beautifully put.

This is what Reynolds cites:
The real danger is that we who support the war will reach the point that we say "we might as well be taken as wolves then as sheep". At that point the left can celebrate that they have made our military and those who support it the people they claim we are. Once that happens however any compunction about respecting them will be gone, and remember one side is armed and one is not. That is a fate that I don't wish on any of us.
Then, Reynolds, who isn't famous for reading his own posts, agrees with this bizarre prophecy. He adds his five cents worth of quality analysis by saying, "Neither do I". Oh, how compassionate, Mr Law Professor. You wish you don't turn into a deranged murderer. An extremely praiseworthy and noble goal.

So, to summarize, this is what Reynolds is saying. "We, the pro-war people, contrary to everybody's opinions about us, are not bloodthirsty fiends without a shred of conscience and human decency. However, in case if it ever came to light that we had, indeed, committed acts that were unconscionable and bereft of any human decency, it would be irresponsible on everybody's part to point out those acts and criticize them since the very act of criticism would only disincentivize us from being conscientious and decent and once that happens, hey, don't blame us if we start firing our guns into the crowd 'cause it is your criticism of our indecency that would have made us do that."

I just love it when a law professor justifies his future (probable) acts of criminality by blaming it on society's denouncement of crime. It's got to be the cocaine, man, there's just no other explanation.

No comments: