Fist jabs and chest bumps

Reading Patrix's view on the Obama terrorist fist jab and his mention of the Bush chest bump, it got me to thinking how the passage of time since 9/11 had dulled my own danger-sniffing abilities so much so that I probably wouldn't recognize a national threat even if it were to crawl up my pant legs, tear a hole in my pocket and lay the seeds of mankind's destruction therein. I also realized how important it is for one to watch Fox News regularly in order to stay abreast of the latest developments in how we are all going to eventually die of terrorism.

But since we are talking about Fox News, let me just take a moment to express my disappointment with Fox News, who has, since then, canceled "America's Pulse", the program that first highlighted the clear connection between two people exchanging a celebratory knuckle collision and the death of gajillions. Shame on you, Fox News. If you were weak enough to cave in to the objections of a two-bit liberal organization like Media Matters, how are we supposed to trust you to defend us from a potential Democratic president whose first order of business after assuming the reigns of power would be to deliver Ohio to Iran, Florida to Kim Jong Il, Louisiana to Hamas and Alabama to Massachusetts? How?

But back to fist jabs. Patrix commented how chest bumping is not a presidential activity. I am afraid it is more sinister than that. After having been reminded by Fox News on the serious implications that body-part collisions have on national security, I have realized that we have in our midst, an even worse threat to the US of A, called George W. Bush. To me, George W. Bush's chest bump spells out "Al Qaida" even more clearly than Obama's fist jab, his terrorist dictator middle name not-withstanding. To me, George W. Bush's calisthenics at the US Air Force Academy looked more like a Suicide Bomber Chest Strapped Explosive Pack Detonation bump. Obviously, a suicide bomber in the White House is a much graver danger to American national security than a terrorist fist jabber merely aspiring to be in the White House.

Where are you, Fox News when we most need you?