Why John McCain is a caricature of himself

Fake News.

Real News.

"McCain said he would have walked through a central Baghdad market without the military protection, but the top U.S. commander in Iraq, Gen. David Petraeus, had recommended the armed escort.

"I'm not notorious for being nervous about going anywhere," said McCain. "I'll gladly go almost anywhere in the world, under any circumstances, but I did respond and do what Gen. Petraeus asked me to do."

John McCain : The only person qualified enough to carry on George W. Bush's comic legacy.

John McCain for President!

Reality Check

I don't think the mob that lynched an ice cream vendor who was caught raping a girl did so because they believed that the justice system wouldn't punish him. They did so because they were sure that the justice system wouldn't punish them.

Karnataka schools to scrap sex education in favor of AIDS treatment classes

Secondary schools in Bangalore are getting ready to add a beginner's course in HIV/AIDS treatment to their syllabus. This new addition will be the Karnataka State Government's latest salvo in the state's fight against the AIDS pandemic.

Initially, the Government had planned to incorporate a course in sex education within school curricula, which would also have informed school children on safe sex practices (via). However, the Minister for Primary and Secondary Education Basavaraj S. Horatti expressed his opposition to this endeavor, saying that educating school children on the correct way to use condoms would only increase their desire to use a condom. "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day", said Mr Horatti. "Teach him how to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. However, if you keep him away from fish altogether, he will stick to eating vegetables", he said adding, "Assuming, of course, that you also lock him inside his own house and prevent him from eating fish in a restaurant."

Mr. Horatti also claimed that teaching secondary school children sex education classes was a selfish ploy by condom manufacturers to abuse AIDS prevention techniques in order to increase their own profits. However, he said, if there is anything that popular Indian culture has taught us, it is that sex and condom usage have no place in it. "Just like condoms would protect our children from exposure to AIDS, so should we be protecting our children from exposure to condoms. Only then would our precious culture be protected from exposure to sex", commented Mr. Horatti.

To deal with the continued increase in the number of HIV cases that is sure to ensue due to a lack of sexual awareness among teens and pre-teens, the Karnataka State Government is adding a mandatory course on HIV / AIDS treatment in its secondary schools. This course will equip Karnataka's schoolchildren with the requisite knowledge for diagnosing the onset of the disease later on in their life and the ability to apply medication for alleviating its symptoms.

"Although the prevention of AIDS falls outside the bounds of decent Indian culture, treatment of the disease does not", said Mr Horatti. "We therefore owe it to our children to ensure that their transition from HIV affliction to a slow certain painful demise is as smooth as possible."

John McCain requests US Army to quit following him around in Iraq

Republican Presidential hopeful Senator John McCain has asked US Army commanders in Iraq to quit following him around and leave him alone, sources say. McCain, who recently claimed that Iraq has become safe enough that there “are neighborhoods in Baghdad where you and I could walk through those neighborhoods, today”, was eager to demonstrate his thesis by walking alone around an open-air Baghdad marketplace during his trip to that nation.

However, to his dismay, Sen. McCain found his solitude repeatedly disturbed by the US Army, which insisted on dogging him every step of the way during his leisurely stroll through the streets of Baghdad.

"All I wanted to do was to take a long solitary walk among those trees and burnt out car shells and I can't even do that without a BlackHawk helicopter or an Apache Gunship shadowing me from above", said McCain. "You are not the boss of me, US Army Sharpshooter on that terrace over there, so just leave me alone", he added with a toss of his weatherbeaten head. (via LGM)

Sen. McCain also expressed his disgust with the Army's insistence that he wear a bulletproof vest during his idyllic rambles. "I cannot imagine what these people think they are protecting me from. Bullets? Shrapnel fragments? This is Iraq, not Washington DC, you know", he said, referring to Rep. Steve King (R-IA)'s claim that the average Iraqi civilian was safer than an American in Washington DC. "What if I were to suddenly decide to pick flowers from a grassy meadow or jump into a pond with those Iraqi kids and splash around in a carefree manner to celebrate the safeness of this very safe neighborhood?", inquired McCain of his over-nurturing army tormentors. "How would I be able to do that with this heavy vest restricting my every degree of freedom?"

Commenting on the deserted streets of the neighborhood which a hundred armed US infantrymen had cleared of all Iraqi citizens in anticipation of his arrival, the Senator said, "Look how peaceful it is, not a single suicide bomber or IED in sight. Don't you wish downtown Manhattan were as serene and uncrowded?"

Army commanders, when asked for a response, said, "Our assignment is to make sure we send him back to the US in one piece. But it is turning into a highly difficult task. It's like he wants to get killed. He keeps asking to be let inside suspiciously abandoned vehicles or allowed to open unidentified packages left by the roadside just to prove how safe Iraqi streets really are."

If he were to make it back safe and sound, on his return to the US, Sen. McCain is scheduled to visit numerous American cities and hold meetings with their lawmakers in order to explore the feasibility of making them as safe as, if not safer than those in Iraq.

President Bush re-elected to second term as President of Iraq

Four years after winning the election for President of Iraq in which he cast the single and deciding vote, President Bush announced today that he has been unanimously re-elected to a second term as leader of that nation.

In a bizarre repeat of his previous performance, the margin of victory once again turned out to be 1 vote to 0, the deciding vote again being that of President Bush, who justified his decision to re-elect himself by saying, "I've been doing a heck of a job". Although this time around, his incumbency was expected to act against his candidacy, President Bush thwarted conventional political wisdom by achieving a landslide victory against the only other candidate in the arena, the US Congress.

"Although the Congress has been doing a relatively good job in its role as a rubber substitute, unlike me, it has very little experience in creating and administering a war-torn nation", said President Bush of his former presidential challenger. "Also, the US Congress has traditionally been weak against fighting domestic crime here in the US. How can one expect it to fight against terrorists in Iraq?"

During his acceptance speech, President Bush declared that his victory would go a long way towards promoting democracy in the Middle-East. "The fact that an Arab nation which used to be a dictatorship is now ruled by the democratically elected leader of another country just goes to show that democracy is on the march in the Middle-East", commented the President.

The Iraqi presidential election was carried out in strict conformance with election etiquette as laid down in the Iraqi constitution which believes in the division of power between four branches of Iraqi government, namely the President of the US, Halliburton, Exxon-Mobil and Iran.

Magnet America to sell "Support Our Ribbons" ribbons

A drastic decline in the popularity of the Iraq war has adversely affected the American Patriotic Slogan manufacturing industry. As soon as the Iraq war began, the industry shifted into high gear and unveiled its flagship product, the "Support Our Troops" ribbon. The ribbon, which turned out to be the best pro-life alternative to enrolling in the military and actually fighting in the war, was widely adopted by war supporters and could be seen affixed to numerous vehicles throughout the US.

However, with the war turning sour and public opinion shifting against it, these ribbons, in turn, have lost their appeal. Magnet America, which is one of the largest manufacturers of these ribbons, claims that ribbon sales fell from 1.2 million in August 2004 to 4,000 a month. "We have enough supplies to meet demand for years to come," said Micah Pattisall, director of operations. "Assuming, of course, that we will continue to be at war for the next few years. Please God, let there be war for the next few years", he added fervently.

With support for the "Support Our Troops" ribbons dwindling, Magnet America has unveiled its latest product, the "Support Our Ribbons" ribbon. This ribbon will address the issue of public apathy towards the "Support Our Troops" ribbons and increase awareness about the importance of these ribbons in stirring patriotic pride within American loins.

"In order for us to win in Iraq, we need Americans to support our troops by buying these ribbons that show their support towards the ribbons that support our troops", said a ribbon vendor in New York City. "Also, it will help me feed my family", he added.

President Bush encouraged Americans to do their part in the War Against Terror ™ by supporting the "Support Our Troops" ribbons and displaying "Support Our Ribbons" ribbons in their homes, cars and alcohol rehabilitation centers. "These ribbons are courageous warriors, fighting on the forefront of our battle for public opinion", said President Bush. "And right now, with public opinion being massively against the war, the importance of supporting them far outweighs that of supporting our actual troops."

Jesus is back

Hey hey, the Christ is back and if you've got a Brooklyn bridge to sell, he's got the followers who'd be itching to buy it from you (via PZ). There he is, curiously clean-cut, delightfully plump, bizarrely well-attired and giving you a benevolent two-fingered salute, the same one, as a matter of fact, which the Jews of yore mistook for a one-fingered one and eventually crucified him for. I guess Jesus didn't learn his lesson.

There's just one catch : This time around, El Savior happens to be Latino and is currently operating under the earthly moniker, "Dr Jose Luis De Jesus Miranda". His parents must have been prophets to name their child with such extraordinary accuracy. But although Christ 2.0's abilities of impersonating a geostationary satellite in orbit, while at the same time, not disintegrating during atmospheric re-entry are far superior to that of his previous incarnation, as seen by his casual smiling demeanor in the picture as he loiters outside the earth's atmosphere, I anticipate him to face considerable difficulties in accomplishing the relatively easy task of crossing the Rio Grande into America. You know, with the Minutemen and all.

But that is but a minor irritant for all in all, he's doing well during his second stint as Mankind's Lord and Savior. Gone are those days of living a frugal life and having to feed five thousand people from the office with a mere five loaves of bread and just two fish. Second helpings weren't allowed. But the 21st century Christ reportedly "has his own television and radio satellite channels, more than 300+ television and radio programs, an entourage of 300+ faithful pastors and millions of followers" who are, it is claimed, "growing in numbers everyday". Whether it is through sheer procreation or some kind of Christian cloning process is still unknown.

Now I know there must be many among you who must be going, Wait a minute, how do I know he is not a mere false Christ? For the Bible says that there are going to be a number of false Christs making their appearance throughout my lifetime and that they shall have the power to deceive not only the ignorant and the stupid, such as you, but also those gifted with a supreme intelligence, such as I.

Dr Jose Luis De Jesus Miranda laughs at you my friend. Not an amused, condescending smirk, mind you, because he is above all those petty emotions, but a compassionate giggle, only meant to let you know how stupid you really are, in spite of all your understanding to the contrary.

You see, the gospel does warn of the nuisance of false Christs. But at the same time, the gospel also clearly states that this false Christ on his arrival, will perform "great signs and wonders" in order to bewitch you into submission.

And therein lies the acid test of authenticity, which Dr Jose Luis De Jesus Miranda passes with remarkable ease. Because Dr Jose Luis De Jesus Miranda cannot perform wonders or miracles. He would not be able to walk on water even if his Carnival Cruise ship were to hit an iceberg and the alternative were death by drowning. He would not be able to convert water into wine even if he were making a mushroom and wild rice risotto for his wife on their wedding anniversary, the recipe included white wine and the grocery stores were all closed.

No, Dr Jose Luis De Jesus Miranda is simply not able to perform any miracles or signs or wonders. And because he cannot perform miracles or signs or wonders, according to the gospel, he clearly cannot be a false Christ and HAS to be the real deal. The Real Christ. It is that simple. It is in the gospel.

And now, here you go, Brooklyn Bridge sellers, you know what to do.

Technorati Tags : Jesus Christ Jose Luis De Jesus Miranda Pharyngula Christianity Religion Stupidity

Adams vs Myers

Scott Adams : The Big Bang led to Moby Dick being written, which requires intelligence. Therefore, Moby Dick and humans were created by an intelligent entity, namely, The Big Bang.

Me : You know what, Scott, I just realized that Adolf Hitler demanded that Ferdinand Porsche change his car design to accommodate working class Germans, thus leading to the creation of Volkswagen cars, one of which I used yesterday to do my grocery shopping. Therefore, it was Adolf Hitler who did my grocery shopping and it was he who forgot to buy toilet paper. Please go back to sleep Godwin, it ain't morning yet.

PZ Myers : You are both a couple of fucking idiots. The fact that writing Moby Dick required intelligence does not mean that the creation of Moby Dick's writer required intelligence. Similarly, when Adolf Hitler created Volkswagen, he did not do it with your grocery-shopping in mind.

Me : Hmm. I think I agree with Mr. Myers.

PZ Myers : Shut up, you're a fool nevertheless.

Me : Rightie-O.

And now we wait for Scott Adams to respond.

Technorati Tags : Scott Adams Pharyngula Evolution Intelligent Design Creationism

IIT temple to hold entrance exam for worshipers

The popular and highly prestigious temple in Rajasthan that caters to prospective IIT-JEE candidates has announced that it will now be conducting its own entrance exam for devotees (via Abi and Krish). This entrance exam is intended to pre-screen prospective worshipers of the IIT Deity before allowing them admission into the inner sanctum of the temple where they will be able to secure a seat in the IIT of their choice by communicating their allegiance to Him through the Vice-Chancellor of the temple, Goddess Saraswati.

The IIT Deity, who is said to ride atop the majestic Porcupine of Knowledge, bearing in His five arms the mythical answers (a), (b), (c), (d) and "none of the above", will be unavailable for worship in person due to Physics, Chemistry and Mathematics, the three JEE topics, continuing to refute His very existence.

Until now, the temple had a policy of unrestricted admission to IIT-aspirants. However, lately, the glowing testimonials of its alumni as well as word-of-mouth from locals in the area had caused a huge surge of blessings-seekers to the temple, thereby overwhelming the temple's infrastructure that was designed for serving only a few hundred patsies at a time, especially in areas such as the administration of holy water and bite-sized coconut pieces.

The temple, now coming under the purview of the education department of the Government of India, will now require prospective devotees to scrawl their answers to a tough questionnaire on the outer walls of the temple to prove their eligibility for the IIT Deity's benevolence. The highly whittled down group of extraordinary IIT-seekers who pass this test will then be allowed to enter the temple and scrawl their IIT wish-list on the inner walls of the temple.

Various coaching classes that have sprung up in the vicinity of the temple claim to provide a list of questions expected to be asked in the exam. The one under the banyan tree next to the well said that questions about the history of the temple and its surroundings are virtually certain to be asked but refused to elaborate, instead, requiring students to purchase its study material for additional tips and pointers.

President Bush to send more troops to stop British troops from leaving Iraq

The US will be sending additional troops to Iraq in order to prevent British troops from leaving the country, said President Bush, during a late Wednesday night appearance on television. Maintaining a grave demeanor, not unlike the time he gave the Chancellor of Germany a back rub during the countries' bilateral talks, President Bush warned Americans that Britain's decision of reducing its troop strength in Iraq by 3,000 would necessitate the dispatch of 20,000 additional American reinforcements, also called "a surge", to keep the British from "cutting and running".

Explaining the situation, President Bush said that military analysts had assured him that for every British serviceman trying to escape the war-torn nation, the American army would require two soldiers, one to hold him back and another to punch him in the gut every time he uttered the word "mate". The remaining 14,000 would be needed to screw in the proverbial light-bulb.

Republicans in Congress have criticized the President's decision as too little, too late and said that additional troops to prevent coalition partners from escaping should have been dispatched right back when Spain announced its intention of withdrawing its forces from Iraq.

British Prime Minister Tony Blair, when asked for a comment, replied, "Since I am a friend of both President Bush as well as the British people, I would prefer not to take sides in this conflict."

Technorati Tags : Bush Surge Iraq Tony Blair

Ganges too polluted to defecate in, say Sadhus

The All India Association of Sadhus, Swamis and Snake Oil Sellers (or NAMBLA), has claimed that the extraordinary degree of pollutedness of the Ganges river is severely affecting their ability to use its water for their daily toiletry.

In a press statement, the committee of visibly constipated Godmen declared that the huge amount of pre-existing fecal matter in the water of the river, along with fertilizers and pesticides, was making it hazardous to use this water as a medium for cleaning excrement off their bodies. As a result, many of them had not had an opportunity to empty their bowels into the depths of the river, thus adding to the health risk. This problem was causing particular hardship to the millions of Hindu devotees who throng the banks of the river this time of year during the Ardha Kumbh Mela to perform a ritual discharge of their waste into its putrid but soul-purifying waters.

The polluted waters have also been blamed for an increase in the occurrence of skin diseases. Earlier, the only skin diseases caused were those that were passed from one bathing devotee to another. Now however, the water itself brings forth the microbes that cause these maladies.

Other Sadhus have also expressed apprehension regarding the future of their own remains once they have passed on to the next life. Many Hindu holy men prefer to incinerate their mortal remains on the banks of the river and disperse their ashes into its waters, a process which reportedly guarantees them rich dividends in the heavenly afterlife. However, with the river being dangerously polluted, these Sadhus are now reluctant to share its water space with foreign feculence not of their own making.

Maintaining a united stand on the issue, the Association of Sadhus has threatened that if the government were not to take immediate and drastic steps towards cleansing the river, all ten million of its members would boycott the Mela this year and refuse to deposit their body waste into its waters, eternal salvation be damned.

Before being against feminism, you need to know what it means

I like how lately, every fucking jackass person with a keyboard and a voltage stabilizer will come up with an opinion about feminism and feel the urge to communicate it to the unenlightened uneducated masses. For example, this guy (via DP). Who thinks that feminism "preaches that women should compete with men in all walks of life in a bid to prove their point and outsmart men". And then goes on to "prove" why feminism is flawed.

I would like to take this opportunity to request people who think they oppose feminism to first be aware of what the fuck it is that they think they are opposing.

As I commented at this guy's blog, feminism is not about male-female competition. Fuck competition. In fact, when you think about it, feminism has very little to do with men. Feminism is about giving a woman the fundamental birthright over her own body, over her own life and her own destiny. Feminism strives to give women protection under the law (theoretically as well as practically). Feminism tries to make sure that societal norms will evolve to a point such that women will be able to live their lives as citizens who can be self-sufficient psychologically as well as economically.

Feminism would like women to be able to move around freely without being molested by sexually starved men. Feminism would prefer that women be left out of caste warfare and that their genitals and souls not be made to bear the brunt of centuries old religious and social dogma. Feminism would also like women to be able to have control over their own vaginas and not be subject to the diktats of a bunch of righteous old men held hostage by the preachings of a hoary book of indeterminate vintage and relevance. And lastly, feminism would really love it if you didn't kill your fetus just because she's a girl. Instead, Feminism would plead with you to give birth to her, nurture her, educate her and see how she soars.

Feminism is all that and more. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I haven't covered most of it. But this much I can say with confidence : Feminism will not think less of you just because you decide to lug your girlfriend's 80 kilo suitcase. No, Feminism will call that mere common courtesy.

I realize, of course, that I could be one of those fucking jackasses people I mentioned, foisting his asinine opinions about feminism on the world. If such be the case, please do let me know.

Update : As Falstaff points out correctly in his comment, contrary to what I said earlier, Feminism, or just about any other ism, would probably frown upon this particular instance of 80 kilo suitcase handling due to the blogger's motives behind doing it, which is, to avoid the self-manufactured feeling of emasculation that might result, were he to allow his girlfriend to carry the suitcase. In short, it's all about him and his insecurities and little to do with feminism. But the problem here is that far from this being the warped viewpoint of just one blogger, I think that this perception about feminism, about it being merely an instrument used by women to emasculate the male of the species, to make him feel less manly is a pretty common one. And it needs to be systematically eradicated because that is probably the most oversimplified caricaturization of contemporary feminism as we know it.

Update 2 : Looking back, we could probably have done without calling people "fucking jackasses". How about we chalk this one up to Samuel Adams Winter Lager, eh?

Update3 : Strawfeminists and more straw-chewing chauvinists.

TIME magazine planning to lay You off

A mere two weeks after bestowing upon You the Person of the Year Award, TIME magazine is now ready to lay You off. These lay-offs will affect You in the editorial team, You in CNN as well as You in People magazine and Sports Illustrated.

Explaining the decision, TIME said that although You are a great human being and well-deserving of this award, You were also, at the same time, a terrible employee. In fact, the very attributes that made You the Person of the Year, namely, an active desire to participate in the web-based dissemination of information, contributed to your shoddy performance at the workplace that will lead to your dismissal. When You should have been busy evaluating copy and correcting grammatical errors in your articles, instead, You were busy uploading the video of You wearing a Borat bikini on YouTube. When You should have been chasing stories and trying to determine who would be the next Person of the Year, You were instead writing post upon post on your blog about how it was You who got the very worst assignments.

Before laying You off, however, TIME expressed its gratitude towards You for that amazing brainstorm You had in coming up with the idea of naming Yourself as the Person of the Year, as well as your immense YouTube and blogging experience that made this issue possible. Although TIME no longer requires this skill-set from You, at the same time, TIME also wishes You the best and hopes that You will continue to enjoy success in your extra-curricular internet ventures, especially since You will now have significantly more time to invest in their execution once your employment there has been terminated.

George Will, cry baby

George Will, conservative columnist, whines about "narcissistic bloggers" who write "their diaries as though everyone ought to care about everyone’s inner turmoils". Well, George, if you quit lying your ass off in those totally un-narcissistic Washington Post columns (which everybody ought to care about, by the way, because it is the great and wise George Will expressing his inner turmoils and not just any garden-variety internet user), we wouldn't need bloggers in the first place.

It is sad, oh so very sad to contemplate the desperate meanderings of a marginalized old man who's just beginning to grasp his own irrelevance in this world.

Is George Will turning senile?

George Will hammers Democratic Virginia Senator-elect Jim Webb for being rude to President Bush in his Washington Post column. George is offended by the following conversation he says took place between Jim Webb and the President :

President : How's your boy?
Webb : I'd like to get them [sic] out of Iraq.
President : How's your boy?
Webb : That's between me and my boy.

On reading this exchange, it would probably be fair to think of Bush as a gentle concerned soul who, even after being rebuffed by the impolite Webb, continued to inquire about the well-being of Webb's son, who is serving in Iraq, only to be rebuffed again. One might even call Webb a "boor" and describe Bush's question towards Webb as "civil and caring" as Will does in his column.

Yes, that would be fair. If it were actually so. But George Will is not being entirely honest here. That's because he posts the link to the entire exchange in his column and this is how the conversation actually went :

President : How's your boy?
Webb : I'd like to get them [sic] out of Iraq.
President : That's not what I asked you, how's your boy?
Webb : That's between me and my boy.

Now doesn't that change things a bit? Doesn't Webb's response look much more reasonable now and Bush's seem to be petulant, infantile and yes, rude. And doesn't this pretty much demolish the basis of George Will's column, called "Already too busy for civility" which criticizes Webb for being an uncivil cad?

What was George thinking? Did he deliberately and mendaciously omit the truthful exchange from his column in order to bolster his non-existent point based on the belief that his readers would be too lazy to click through the link and check up on the facts? Did he recite the conversation through memory which can be pretty treacherous for a person of advanced age? Was it just sloppy editing? Or was it an instance of constructing facts around an already drawn premise, namely Webb's supposed boorish personality?

Whatever it was, it was a pretty sad spectacle to behold.

A Minnesota Republican's letter of concession

Here's part of a letter of concession (via PZ) which a Minnesota State Senatorial candidate sent her victorious opponent after the election. What makes this letter interesting is that the candidate Rae Hart Anderson, a Republican, uses it to try and convert her opponent, Satveer Chaudhary, a practising Hindu to Christianity. It's actually quite hilarious if you think religious fundamentalism is funny.

Congratulations on winning the District 50 senate race. Your phone is "busy"...no doubt with good wishes!

I've enjoyed much of this race, especially the people I've met...even you! I see your deficits--not all of them, and your potential--but not all of it. Only your Creator knows the real potential He's put in you. Get to know Him and know yourself...you'll be more interesting even to you!

The race of your life is more important than this one--and it is my sincere wish that you'll get to know Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. He died for the sins of the world, yours and mine--and especially for those who accept His forgiveness. His kingdom will come and His will be done--on earth as it is in heaven. There's more....I love belonging to the family of God. Jesus is the way, the truth and offers His life to you and each human being. Pay attention...this is very important, Satveer. Have you noticed Jesus for yourself...at some moment in time, yet???

The rest of the letter is a collection of biblical quotes and sermonizing babble any of us could write quite easily after downing a few. But I just don't understand how people can arrogantly foist some vague concept like Jesus Christ on people who clearly have their own vaguer concepts to uphold. Ordering a Hindu to believe in Jesus is akin to a South Indian denouncing a Punjabi guy for eating sarson da saag instead of idli sambar.

US midterm election results

Democrats will take over the US House of representatives, could quite possibly take over the Senate as well if they manage to snag Montana and Virginia. Macacas (both taxi-driving and non) all over the country have been observed holding their breaths in anticipation.

Democrat Nancy Pelosi will be the first ever female Speaker of the US House and number 3 in the Presidential line of succession after the Vice President in case the quail were to ever fight back.

Most Philadelphia suburbs kicked out the Republican Congressional incumbent including Sen. Rick Santorum who will now have more time to obsess over homosexuality and man-on-dog sex in the comfort and privacy of his own home. In addition, Democratic PA Governor Ed Rendell was re-elected. Rendell did a lot of good things including completing the modernization of the Amtrak Keystone corridor, which will hopefully be a precursor for others to follow in ushering American rail travel into the 18th century. Still a long way to go, but good job nevertheless, PA citizens.

South Dakota rejected the strict anti-abortion bill which would deny abortions to anyone except, in the words of Republican state Senator Bill Napoli, the highly special case of a "rape victim, brutally raped, savaged" who happened to be "a virgin", but more to the point, "a religious virgin", who had "planned on saving her virginity until she was married" and who "was brutalized and raped, sodomized as bad as you can possibly make it, and is impregnated".

The rejection of this bill will now allow religious virgins who were raped, brutalized and impregnated but sadly, managed to not get sodomized, to still obtain an abortion nevertheless.

Missouri elected Democrat Claire McCaskill as US Senator, also approving a constitutional amendment permitting embryonic stem cell research. Ms. McCaskill was helped in her campaign by Michael J Fox, who starred in a campaign commercial asking Missouri voters to consider the implications of stem cell research in overcoming debilitating diseases and vote for McCaskill, a pro-stem cell candidate. Actor Jim Caviezel, who appeared in a counter-ad protesting stem cell research, is still trying to come to terms with the fact that he isn't really Jesus Christ.

Glenn Reynolds, that highly acclaimed political analyst, despite mountains of evidence to the contrary, continues to pretend that the election was predicated by everything except the Iraq war.

Gays who are not pedophiles won seats.

Gays who are pedophiles lost seats.

Heterosexuals who tried to strangle their mistresses lost seats.

And finally, Democratic control of the House might pave the way for the comprehensive immigration reform (CIR) bill to be passed into law, thus allowing numerous Macacas to not spend entire lifetimes in the US waiting to get a green card.

Vote

Life is short. If you want to continue to live through your kids, please vote Democrat today.

The pictures

(updated below)

I usually do not participate in the partisan slugfests that keep occurring at regularly scheduled intervals in the Indian blogosphere. Not because I am against alienating people from either side 'cause seriously, I couldn't give a fuck, but because I do not owe allegiance to any ideology in particular, and so, I find it hard to agree with anybody's views in their entirety on any particular issue.

But not this time. This is what happened. Shivam Vij posted pictures of the Kherlanji massacre of a Dalit family on his blog. The pictures included a graphic photograph of the raped and murdered girl containing partial nudity (or so they say, it has since been removed). This led to a number of people writing horror-stricken blog posts condemning Shivam's "lack of respect for the dignity of the dead" in posting these pictures and accusing him of trying to attract hits and attention through this medium.

Confused claims that pictures need not be shown and that wisely selected words should be enough to make people realize the horror of the crime. I disagree. Pictures are everything. Pictures put a face to the victim who would otherwise have just been a statistic. The actual sight of violence and bloodshed perpetrated by man on his brother / sister makes all the difference in overcoming the sterility of the printed word. The tremendous power of pictures in shaking people from their apathetic stupor is the reason why the Bush administration has banned pictures of coffins arriving from Iraq. It is also the reason why each time the American media depicts the violence and death occurring over in that blighted nation on screen, it causes the warmongering community consisting of Glenn Reynolds and his band of Bush cultists to protest about "liberal media bias". And it was the poignant sight of a Michael J Fox swaying uncontrollably on television as he pled for public support towards stem cell research that caused people to take notice and changed a whole lot of minds. Pictures are much more powerful than words and that is a fact.

Enter Gaurav Sabnis. He embarks on a blogpost with a couple of assumptions he peddles as fact with everything that follows in his post depending upon those "facts" for their meaning. Fact number 1 : Shivam is an attention-seeking journalist-whore. Fact number 2 : Shivam merely fakes his concern for Dalits and given a choice, he would not think twice before selling their mutilated bodies on the internet. No evidence is provided to back up these "facts". Once these "facts" have been reported as fact, whatever he says later becomes impenetrable to refutation because of his fundamental preconceived assumptions regarding Shivam's character.

However, the fact (without the air-quotes) is that there exists considerable evidence that contradicts them. Anyone who is remotely familiar with the Indian blogosphere should know that Shivam has been an activist for the Dalit cause for quite some time, as he explains on his blog. Which is why unless someone actually provides me with some evidence to the contrary, I would give Shivam the benefit of doubt in this respect.

Secondly, Sabnis, as well as other members of the anti-picture brigade claim that posting these pictures strip the dead of their dignity and that we should respect the privacy of the dead.

What does that even mean? What dignity? Dignity is a quality that lives and dies with a living being. Once you die, along with your clothes, wealth and silicon implants, you also leave your dignity behind. Whose dignity are we then protecting?

And let's say, if you actually did continue to possess dignity after you were dead, wouldn't your dignity be better served by raising awareness about the crime that was perpetrated on you, about the people who raped and murdered you who might get away scot free in the absence of a public outcry against their deeds? Wouldn't you feel that way, if it were you who were the victim?

Why, then, is Gaurav Sabnis foisting his own ideas about post mortem dignity on the dead? Isn't he kind of, you know, stripping away their dignity by doing that?

And before Sabnis asks me that question, yes, if it were my mother or sister who were raped and killed in that manner, if the government were not to come to my assistance, if my story were to be killed by the media, yes, fuck, yes, I would like their pictures to be plastered all over the media, over the blogosphere, dignity and privacy be damned. In fact, I would even be willing to pay for people to spread the word, just to raise awareness, just to get justice. And I would like my prime minister and every member of his cabinet to wake up and see those pictures first thing in the morning. I would like the nation to be ashamed of what its citizens are capable of. And that is me speaking for myself, not for the family of the dead, unlike Sabnis.

Sabnis then writes a follow up post defending his earlier post, which he nonchalantly begins with the sentence : "Shivam Vij has removed the naked picture." Nice job missing the point. That single sentence does more to illustrate the problem at the core of this business, namely, confusing violence with pornography. Sabnis sees the picture as that of a dead naked woman whereas the entire purpose of putting up the picture was clearly to showcase the savagery inflicted upon the woman and not the fact that she was missing her fucking top. Bizarre.

Lastly, I want to point out Sabnis' sentence in his later post where he says

"I found Shivam Vij's post distasteful, and conforming to the cheap attention-seeking, shock-inducing standards that seem to prevail in the Indian media nowadays."

Contrast this with Sabnis' attitude a couple of weeks ago towards a brother of the so-called Cartel who wrote a post containing the following literary gem :

"I think Tejal should set an example for the rest of us in ‘depreviledging’ systems by opening access to her arsehole. Everyone from Thakurs to Dalits to whites to blacks to barnyard animals to illegal Bangladeshi immigrants should be able to enter it at will. I see no reason why everyone should be a have-not when it comes to anal sex with Tejal, especially when she herself has the ability to make everyone a have."

And Sabnis' comment on this post?

"This is the best post ever. It is a splendid illustration of the sanctity of the owner’s rights over his private property. Unfortunately, many people do not have the capacity, willingness or maturity to grasp the succinctness of Aadisht’s argument."

So, to recap, Shivam's posting of a picture of a raped woman on his blog in a post condemning the rape equals a manifestation of the "distasteful, and conforming to the cheap attention-seeking, shock-inducing standards" prevailing in the media. Aadisht.net's post, critiquing a commentator using penetration of her arsehole as a prop, on the other hand, equals the best post ever written and anyone who would criticize all that talk about arsehole penetration (a living person's arsehole, by the way, talk about being a pro-dignity crusader) lacks the maturity to grasp the intricate argument that nestles underneath. Oh, the hilarity.

Note that I am not offering any opinion about utilizing shock value to raise awareness on an issue 'cause God knows I have indulged in it myself. However, I do find someone objecting to "attention seeking" and "shock-inducing" in one case while glorifying it in another kinda strange.

But ultimately, all this ongoing bullshit will continue to be bullshit. People will continue to get offended by controversial pictures while losing the actual point that was being made. Other people will continue to lose sight of the point themselves while getting diverted into defending those pictures. And meanwhile, atrocities will continue to be committed, reported upon and forgotten.

Update : It appears to me that anyone who has an opinion on this issue needs to first ask himself the following three questions :

1.> Do you hate Shivam?

2.> Do you doubt Shivam's motives in posting the pictures?

3.> How do you feel about posting such pictures in general?

If you answered yes to the first two questions, you should probably not bother asking yourself the third question, which actually happens to be the most important question of all. Unfortunately, most of who have commented on this issue so far have concentrated on answering yes to the first two questions and assumed that this automatically answers the third question. That is kind of stupid.

Update II : Here's Shivam's entire article for Tehelka of which the pictures were a precursor.

Quote of the day

Republican Florida Congressional gubernatorial candidate Charlie Crist, explaining his opposition to gay marriage (via maru) :

"Marriage is a sacred relationship — like I had, before I got divorced."