Thursday, October 13, 2005

New law decrees vaginas to be state property upto marriage

The Tamil Nadu legislature has passed a law decreeing that all vaginas, residing within Tamil Nadu state boundaries would be the property of the state of Tamil Nadu until such a time as they get married. The new law was passed in response to reports of rampant abuse of vagina privilege occurring in the state, said to be one of India's most progressive and literate.

Members of the Dalit Party in India, Dalit standing for "untouchable", have demanded that vaginas be afforded similar rights and restrictions granted to members of their own party, namely, that they never ever be touched for pleasure or for recreational purposes, and that some kind of a state-sponsored supervision should exist in order to oversee incidents of vagina violation. The Tamil Nadu State government, currently led by former Tamil actress Jayalalitha, has agreed, commenting "Since I have never been married and hence, never experienced any pleasures of the carnal kind, I hereby forbid any other unmarried woman from doing so either."

The PMK Party's women's wing, which one would expect to stand up for women's rights, has stepped up to the plate and demanded that the new law be strictly enforced, and in order to lead by example, has asked all it's unmarried members to begin wearing chastity belts.

The new law also specifies that following marriage, vagina ownership will be transferred to the husband, who will then have a choice to either liberate it or maintain it under his legal guardianship.

In other news, the Durga Puja festival was celebrated in large parts of the country to symbolize feminine strength and empowerment.

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