Conservatives declare opposition to the celebration of birthdays

In wake of the nation mourning over the loss of the 2000th American life in Iraq, conservatives have decided to oppose the commemoration of all numeric symbolisms by asking the nation to stop celebrating birthdays and New Years Day.

Speaking on CNN's Reliable Sources, Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit, and a prominent pro-war blogger, said "It (The story of the 2000th American casualty) is a manufactured event by a press that has largely been anti-war from the beginning, and I think is dogpiling on the Bush administration for as many opportunities as it can find." He continued, "In fact, going forward, I find it preposterous to attach even the slightest bit of numerical significance to any event, including my birthday, wedding anniversary, Independence day, Christmas day and the day I lost my viriginity. They are all media manufactured events, which happen to occur annually on the same day and should be treated with the contempt they deserve. In fact, I now regret celebrating the new millenium, when it was nothing more special than the beginning of year number 2000."

Reynolds pointed out the discrepency between the Press' treatment of casualties during World War II and the Iraq war. "Ran Siemberg had an amusing parody from World War II of the media making a big deal out of another milestone, the 250,000th death", he said. "And my point is", he continued, "The press and the American people should only think about protesting the war after the 250,00th American gets blown up in Iraq and is laid to rest in his grave, and not a single soldier before that."

Other pro-war conservatives have joined in the denouncement of the media's reporting of the 2000th Iraq war victim. Commentator Ann Coulter remarked "Why should the 2000th black soldier to die in Iraq today steal any more sweet glory of martyrdom than the first white one to die there 3 years ago? Or the millionth beige one who will probably be killed there 20 years from now? All these people are equally dispensable and should not be singled out for selective appreciation."

Anti-war activists, however, have pointed out that that the 2000th American casualty is something more than just a significant numerical event. They say that the fact that the first 1000 fatalities took 18 months, while the next 1000 took a mere 14 months shows that the insurgency is exacerbating, and not in it's "last throes" as Vice President and resident White House ghoul, Dick Cheney declared in May.

In order to demonstrate their indifference to numbers, conservatives have vowed to solemnize every American casualty in Iraq from this point onwards by observing a moment of silence and sending two more soldiers to take his place.