Thursday, October 20, 2005

Some more marketing slogans I don't much care about

Chevy trucks : Why do guys like trucks? Because trucks don't ask "why".

As opposed to what? Wives who ask why? So what are you saying? That instead of riding your wives you should be riding Chevy trucks? Gimme a fucking break.

GMC trucks : Even if you didn't build the superdome, your truck probably did.

Truck and SUV manufacturers have realized that even though they keep touting how manly and rugged their vehicles are, and how they can easily crunch through the steepest mountains and the densest rain forests, the average American isn't really going to use his vehicle to perform tasks more fraught with danger than getting milk from the neighbourhood store. So what's the next marketing gimmick? Make the prospective customer still want to own a vehicle that can do all those things, by telling him "See buddy, we know you are a pussy, you know you are a pussy, but if you buy this truck, at least you will be a pussy who owns a manly truck." Marketing 101 : Accuse a man of being a pussy and he'll buy anything just to prove he isn't one.

Accura MDX : Again, similar to the previous ad, they show this SUV being a bad-ass in the wilderness, trampling over foxes and other wildlife who are fleeing from it. But then it turns out, the SUV is just dreaming, and it's actually stuck in traffic on the interstate.

"At least it's heart's in the right place"

The message? Buy an SUV that is capable of going offroad, even though chances of it even getting off your driveway are slim. And while you are at it, why don't you get a fucking assault rifle to get rid of the roaches in your house?

Dunkin Donuts coffee : Not your every day coffee, your every single day coffee.

This is just retarded. No I refuse to spend any time at all discussing it.

The Chicago White Sox baseball franchise : "Win or die trying"

Ok, lets get some perspective here. What does this sentence mean? That they are gonna try hard to win. And they are gonna try harder because in their particular case, they have decided that if they lose, they would rather choose some fate which, if not literally death as such, would at least be worse than what would befall other baseball franchises if they lost. Because that's what the slogan says. If we lose, something will happen to us that's gonna be really really bad. But is that really true? No. then why the slogan? Just a bunch of words that sound cool.

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