Friday, September 29, 2006

RIP US

The US Senate has passed a bill that suspends the writ of Habeas Corpus. The US government will henceforth be able to legally imprison and torture anyone indefinitely without giving them an opportunity to defend themselves in court, be it US citizen or enemy combatant ('cause we know that one can either be the former or the latter, there is no option C), based on the mere suspicion of being a terrorist. A big thank you to the legal community, we will not be requiring your services any more. We are guilty as charged, fuck judicial procedure and assumption of innocence unless proven guilty.

Good bye Land of the Free, welcome Home of the so fucking craven that they would throw their own mother into a dungeon if they were to catch her eating humus rolled up in a pita.

A few words of caution for anyone with a wheatish complexion. Please dispose of all your turbans and dupattas in a safe and eco-friendly manner. Maintain a clean shaven profile and try not to look terroristy. If you have to venture outside, make sure you do so only under the cover of darkness.

Thank you Democratic Party. Thank you for remembering to wear your diapers before you pissed all over our kitchen floor. The next time someone assaults our rights, we know who to call.

Go here for a eulogy. Then go here to pay your last respects to the dying nation.

Osama if you don't wipe that smirk off your face I'm gonna walk over there and turn off your dialysis machine.

Speaking of fundamentalists, oh oh, Glenn Reynolds, the revered Instapundit, seems to be uncomfortable with this bill. How's that possible? After all, it's the Fearless Leader's wish. Here's why :

According to an email published by Jonah Goldberg, the bill doesn't just apply to aliens.....But if it's true, it's a major problem with the bill, one that increases the likelihood ofits being found unconstitutional, and one that would make me much more unhappy with the bill.

Imprison a foreigner without access to legal aid, attach electrodes to his testicles, hey that's just fine with me, says the Glennster. Just don't do it to an American citizen. 'Cause that would be an unAmerican thing to do.

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