Pakistan to open its doors to jihad-based tourism

Following the release of a new Al-Qaida video in which terrorist leader Osama Bin Laden called upon his followers to carry out jihad against Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf, the Pakistan Tourism Development Corporation (PTDC) grabbed this opportunity to tout Pakistan's credentials as the world's number one jihad-based tourism destination.

In a press release on its new and revamped website (www.tourerrorism.gov.pk), the PTDC issued a formal welcome to the millions of prospective suicide bombers, IED operators and religious incitation experts willing to inject foreign capital into the cash-strapped Pakistani economy by making it their destination of choice. The Pakistani tourerrorism industry, which through its collaboration with its Afghan counterpart had till recently held a monopoly over jihadi vacation spending, fell into disrepair following the Iraq war and the subsequent maturation and blossoming of the Iraqi tourerrorism industry. But now, with Osama Bin Laden, the Godfather of tourerrorism, himself endorsing violent bloodbath in Pakistan as the next big thing, the PTDC is gearing up and getting ready for what promises to be a very busy tourerrorism season.

Tourism / terrorism analyst Laura Mansfield told CNN that while Bin Laden's message is directed at the Pakistani people, "the simultaneous release of transcripts in English, Pashto, and Arabic indicate the group is looking at a wider audience, including the English-speaking world." The PTDC, not content to merely stand back and reap the benefits of Bin Laden's commercial and recognizing the enormous potential customer base for tourerrorism in the developed world, has also released its own translations in French, German, Japanese, Tagalog, Swahili and Piglatin.

"Gone are the days of Western medical tourism", said a PTDC spokesperson. "People do not wish to travel to a foreign country to cure their own cancer anymore. Instead, they would rather go to a nation that would allow them to pour gasoline on a fellow human and watch him go up in flames."