Thursday, January 11, 2007

President Bush to send more troops to stop British troops from leaving Iraq

The US will be sending additional troops to Iraq in order to prevent British troops from leaving the country, said President Bush, during a late Wednesday night appearance on television. Maintaining a grave demeanor, not unlike the time he gave the Chancellor of Germany a back rub during the countries' bilateral talks, President Bush warned Americans that Britain's decision of reducing its troop strength in Iraq by 3,000 would necessitate the dispatch of 20,000 additional American reinforcements, also called "a surge", to keep the British from "cutting and running".

Explaining the situation, President Bush said that military analysts had assured him that for every British serviceman trying to escape the war-torn nation, the American army would require two soldiers, one to hold him back and another to punch him in the gut every time he uttered the word "mate". The remaining 14,000 would be needed to screw in the proverbial light-bulb.

Republicans in Congress have criticized the President's decision as too little, too late and said that additional troops to prevent coalition partners from escaping should have been dispatched right back when Spain announced its intention of withdrawing its forces from Iraq.

British Prime Minister Tony Blair, when asked for a comment, replied, "Since I am a friend of both President Bush as well as the British people, I would prefer not to take sides in this conflict."

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