An Indian court has approved the patent application filed by a group of Indian men who were seeking to enforce their rights of exclusive ownership over all Indian women. This patent application was filed by a religiously bipartisan committee comprised of both Hindu and Muslim men after Richard Gere, an actor and American citizen, kissed Shilpa Shetty, an Indian woman, on her cheeks during an AIDS awareness campaign. This flagrant violation of a hitherto unwritten code which states that an Indian woman may only be touched, looked at, spoken to or manhandled exclusively by an Indian man, brought into focus the burning issue of patenting indigenously developed products to preempt their illegal usage by unscrupulous Western corporations or film actors.
This newly approved patent prevents or excludes any male from a country other than India from making, using, selling, offering to sell, importing and most importantly, kissing the product in question, namely, an Indian Woman™. Furthermore, each individual patent will have a term of limits beginning at the time of birth of the product and enforceable through her lifetime.
The approval of this patent has allowed the Indian Government to retroactively press patent infringement charges against Mr Richard Gere. Indian men all over the country, incensed with this blatantly illegal behavior, that too, from someone supposedly at the forefront of India's fight against AIDS, protested against the actor by Beating His Burning Effigy With A Stick™, also a recently patented Indian innovation.