Wednesday, April 18, 2007


There is a massacre at an American university. Many people are killed. These are the routes subsequently followed by various trains of thought after their departure from their respective stations of nationality and ideology.

The American Conservative Train:

Hmm. could it be a terrorist attack? I wonder if the shooter was Muslim. Did the shooter selectively kill only Americans?

They say he was Asian. Well, he could still be Islamic.

So now the shooter was Korean. Do they have Muslims in Korea?

Okay, so the shooter wasn't a Muslim. But I am sure this episode showed the Islamic terrorists how easy it is to kill Americans.

They say the killer was an immigrant student on an F-1 visa. Just like those terrorists on 9/11. Why are we letting these students into our country again?

It's now clear that he was not on an F-1 visa and actually grew up in the US. It still doesn't invalidate the original point that we shouldn't be letting these foreigners into our country.

Hey, how about the Ismail Ax thing on his arm? Maybe we should continue to explore the Muslim angle.

You know, the fundamental problem with this country is that more people do not own guns. If everyone were allowed to shoot everyone else, maybe less innocent people would be killed.

The American Liberal Train :

You know, the fundamental problem with this country is all those guns.

Yes, this is a tragedy. But nothing compared to what's happening in Iraq right now.

I am sure Bush won't waste a minute in running to the scene and giving a speech.

Look look, there he goes.

I wonder if he's gonna somehow find a way to link the shooting with 9/11.

The Indian Train :

Hmm. It happened in a university. A place where there are many Indians. I wonder if any Indians died in the shooting.

They say the shooter was Asian. Could he be.....Indian? I hope not.

It appears that he was on an F1 visa. I bet the anti-immigration lobby seizes this opportunity to badmouth immigration and immigrants.

So he was Korean. Are Americans smart enough to know the difference between India and Korea?

I wonder how that Chinese-looking guy in my gym feels about all this. I wonder if people look at him differently wherever he goes now. God, I am sure glad the shooter wasn't Indian.

I really feel sad for all the Indians who died.

The American Neocon Train:

The Israeli professor who was killed in the shooting, threw himself at the gunman to save his students' lives. On the other hand, the Palestinian student who filmed the killings on camera didn't save any lives and compared the tragedy to the violence in the occupied territories. Just goes to show.

The Chinese Train:

You people like your guns way too much.

The Rest of the World Train:

Basically what the Chinese said. And also, such things would never happen in our country. Hunger, poverty, riots, crime yes. School shootings no.

Nothing quite brings the world together like a tragedy now, does it?

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