Friday, March 24, 2006

Advani to use form-changing Rath for Yatra

BJP leader L.K Advani, who will be embarking on a National Integration Yatra to protest the Varanasi bombings, has said that he will be using a state-of-the-art chameleonic Rath that would be able to change its appearance at will.

Mr Advani, in a press conference, said that due to his stature as a prominent leader of the country, it was imperative for him to do all he could to protect his own well-being during the Yatra even as he set out on an expedition that is sure to endanger others'. Since the Yatra would be passing through numerous territories hostile to him and his ideology, he would be taking the precaution of driving a Rath that would be able to change its appearance according to the ethnicity of the neighbourhood it would be passing through.

While moving through a Muslim-dominated area, the Rath would be able to borrow a page from Mr Advani's politics and assume the shape of a Crescent in order not to incur the wrath of its residents. In case the Yatra were to strike camp in a Naxal infested forest, the Rath would promptly change its color to red and modify its shape to resemble a hammer and sickle. And even though the itinerary currently does not include a detour through Pakistan, the Rath is fully capable of featuring Mohammed Ali Jinnah's smiling visage on its side if the occasion were to demand it. Only after the Rath reaches the safety of its final Hindu-populated destination of Varanasi would it assume its original form as Lord Rama's war-chariot by turning into an air-conditioned Mazda bus, equipped with an internet connection and a DVD player.

The Rath would also be featuring bullet-proof glass windows in order to disallow Mr Advani from reflexively shooting at Muslim protesters who are sure to line the streets, demonstrating against the Yatra as it passes by.

Congress and Communist party leaders are calling the Yatra a political gimmick designed to instigate communal unrest within the country, saying that they will be organizing their own Rath Yatra in protest, featuring a state-of-the-art Rath that would be powered by human muscle due to ideological constraints.

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