Monday, June 27, 2005

Doing my part to clog up Pennsylvania's miserable highways.

So, the other day during my morning work commute, I'm stuck in traffic in a portion of the expressway usually not prone to traffic logjams. The traffic is at a standstill, and I'm saying to myself, "There better be an accident that caused this or i'm gonna get pissed". Well, what to do, I'm not a morning person and can get really cranky. So, as I move along, I gradually see police cars on the other side of the expressway and I realize that what I'm witnessing is a "gaper delay", basically caused by idiots on one side of the divided lane expressway gaping at an accident on the other side. Now, there are very few things that piss me off more than gaper delays. My view is, yeah sure, we are all human, go ahead, indulge in gaping, everyone likes to see an accident, but cant you make sure you are maintaining your speed while doing it and not slowing down in the process? I mean, how difficult is it to take in the sights and still keep moving at a fast clip? So, I resolve to do my part and not be tempted to gape. As I approach the accident, my conscience takes a time out and I say to myself, "Hey I can gape as long as I dont dawdle right? Right?" My conscience, who is busy playing solitaire or something says uninterestedly, "Yeah buddy go for it". So, trying not to dawdle, I try and observe the accident. I cant see jack. All I see is police cars. Where the hell is the good stuff, says I. Then, I spot some movement in the undergrowth just beside the expressway, and I spot the tail end of a car just visible in the bushes. Ah, so thats it, someone went off the road I realize. And then, I also realize goddamnit, I have dawdled! During my investigative pursuits, I had slowed down almost to a halt. Cursing myself, my conscience and George W Bush (just cos) I speed back up and resume my journey to work and life.

Moral of the story : As far as possible, try not to have an accident, but if absolutely unavoidable, take the precaution of positioning yourself such that you are easily visible from the opposite lane.

1 comment:

Ranjit Warrior said...

This same shit happened to me today as i was returning from the gym on I 287...The interstate was clogged on a godamn saturday and memories of "gaper" delay in a prev accident in connecticut flew back into my mind...Needless to say, workday or weekend, gapers will be gapers as people stopped to a halt, people in the cars were shaking their heads, some gesticulating wildly, some intellectual looking guys in a escalade were talking with their hands as if they were discussing a new market penetration strategy! I promised myself that i'll not look at the accident look...ah damn, my mind's losing it..and yes, i joined the Gaper community!