Mission Unaccomplished

Tonight, George "President" Bush will address the nation. He will stand up on the podium, slightly tilt his head while focusing his beady eyes into the distance, and generally try to give the impression he is about to say something extremely serious and profound. He will read, feigning gravity, from the typewritten notes, often attempting to embark on a devil-may-care extemporizing adventure, only to come gasping back to the safety of his notes when his words start turning into incoherent blather. A somewhat human smirk will occasionally straighten his otherwise twisted simian features as he tries to convince a largely skeptical America of future peace and prosperity, not withstanding the current hopelessness pervading the land. He will invoke the magical, but now meaningless words of September the 11th, freedom, democracy, supporting the troops, good and evil in order to rouse jingoistic fervor among those in the country who are now on the verge of recovering from the brainwashing of the election year. He will try to deceive, spin and paint a rosy portrait of things that are so blatantly, obviously irrevocably fucked, because he knows in his heart this is all he can do, all he has control over. For, slowly, surely, the grip he has had over the country is slipping. Even his loyal minions, the brainless cretins who voted to hand over the country, the world and their collective souls over to this most unholiest of holier-than-thous are starting to question him now. And so, the dice will fall, sanity will make a comeback and our great leader will dissolve into a murky puddle of wasted legacy. It will all start tonight.