The new WTC tower

New York has unveiled the design for a new WTC tower that is even taller than the previous one.

"The building, which has been dubbed "The Freedom Tower" by Pataki, will remain 1,776 feet, symbolizing the year the United States declared its independence."

Supporters of the tower claim that the deadly combination of the term "Freedom Tower" and the numerical significance of the height of the tower in footage will most certainly be instrumental in defending the tower from any possible future terror attacks. Critics, mostly scholars from the American Institute of Common Sense, or A.I.C.S, are pointing out that the immense height of the tower will ensure its visibility even from the Middle East and thus enable disgruntled middle-eastern citizens to aim lasers at American employees working in the tower, thus causing a distraction and reducing productivity.

In related news, The Onion looks forward to 2056 AD when America will commence construction on the 5th WTC tower.