In order to keep Harry Whittington's body from succumbing to the shotgun injuries inflicted upon him by its master, Vice President Dick Cheney's demonic wraith today left his own body and entered the body of Mr Whittington in order to keep it in a state of undeadness.
The Vice President's wraith, which is known to be able to harness the dark forces of Abaddon and move through space and time at will, as well as shift residence into multiple flesh receptacles, was utterly repentant about saturday's hunting accident when Mr Cheney inflicted serious injuries upon Mr Whittington, who was shooting birds by his side. After hospital authorities informed Mr Cheney that his friend might not make it through the night, his wraith rose up to the occasion and sliding out of the VP's mortal remains in the form of an oil slick, made it's way into Mr Whittington's body, thus keeping it alive for the moment.
Immediately after the transfer, however, Mr Whittington exhibited signs of having a heart attack, a malady Mr Cheney's body has been known to suffer from, thus leading doctors to conclude that Mr Whittington probably had a better chance of staying alive without Mr Cheney's wraith occupying his body. The wraith, however, on being informed of the doctors' decision, emitted a hellish squeal and refused to return to its original dwelling, instead, preferring to assume the form of an ExxonMobil oil tanker and prowl the seas in search of a human carcass more hospitable to its infestation.
With Dick Cheney's wraith having relinquished its Vice Presidential duties, George W. Bush will assume the office of Vice President with his chief advisor Karl Rove taking on the role of President.
In other news, Walt Disney Pictures and Pixar Studios have halted the production of their latest cartoon offering based on the Prophet Mohammed's life, citing "a slow market".
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