Monday, December 19, 2005

Bill passed to prevent entry of lazy, overoptimistic terrorists into the US

The US House of Representatives today passed a bill that would do away with the diversity visa lottery that distributes about 50,000 green cards every year to randomly chosen applicants. The reason given for eliminating this green card category was to prevent its misuse by miscreants who might infiltrate the US in an attempt to launch terrorist attacks.

This bill will finally address the long-standing issue pertaining to the influx of extremely lazy terrorists who just weren't bothered enough to devise a more practical way of making their way into the country than by applying for this lottery. It will also be a decent solution to the ever increasing problem of overly optimistic terrorists who were so supremely confident in their ability to win the lottery out of a pool of millions of potential applicants that they did not have a backup plan in case they failed to make the selection.

In other news, Congress is proposing to contaminate the Rio Grande river, which forms a major part of the US-Mexico border, with barrels of whole milk in order to prevent the entry of potentially lactose intolerant terrorists.

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