Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Bush gives nation three guesses on how he plans to win Iraq war

President Bush today reiterated his position that of course, he knew how to win the war in Iraq and that he knew we would win it, and that he would give America three guesses on how he planned to achieve it.

In a press conference, the President, in a playful mood, just having talked to Japanese Prime Minister Koizumi on the phone and narrated that joke about the three geishas and the cowboy from Crawford which had elicited a lot of uncontrolled laughter at the other end, said "Once again America, this is the last freakin time I'm telling you, I know how to win this war. The question is do you? I'll give you three guesses. Please send me your answers."

This strange game was then given air-time later in the day by right wing radio and the Fox News Network. Sean Hannity, of the "Hannity and Some Other Guy show", asked Americans to write down their three guesses as to the American strategy for victory in Iraq and send it by expedited mail to the White House. Correct answers would receive an all-inclusive vacation in one of the few hotels still left standing in the Baghdad Green Zone, where the winner would be able to see with his or her own eyes how their strategy was succeeding (or failing).

Democrats after having inquired whether they are eligible to participate in the contest as well, have been informed that sure, they are, as long as "pulling out of Iraq entirely", "reduction of troop levels" or "replacing President Bush with someone more capable" isn't one of their guesses.

In other news, Saddam Hussain's trial resumed today with the notorious dictator not attending it, instead preferring to watch its live broadcast on Court TV in his prison cell.

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