Tuesday, January 24, 2006

New Shiv Sena offshoot to give up communalism for humanalism

The new political party formed by Raj Thackeray would be giving up the Shiv Sena's plank of fundamentalist Hinduism, reports say. The party that has not yet been given a name, according to Mr Thackeray, would be dumping the traditional Sena platform of communalism, instead embracing humanalism, a political doctrine that mandates the whole-hearted worship of his uncle and Shiv Sena leader, Bal Thackeray.

"We have a two-fold agenda here", said Mr Raj Thackeray. "It involves understanding the problems faced by people in the five revenue divisions at the grassroot level, and secondly, solving these problems through the medium of avuncular devotion. Towards this end, we have already created a lot of hoardings featuring my uncle's visage and erected them in a number of poverty ridden areas of the state."

However, in a one-of-it's-kind gesture, the newly deified Bal Thackeray has expressed reservations about the new religion started in his name, saying "Please do not use my photograph on your banner." The older Thackeray, in a birthday speech meant to revive the sagging morale of Shiv Sainiks due to the exodus of his nephew and other leaders from the party, lamented on the numerous divisions of the country along caste lines and exhorted his partymen to divide themselves along religious and linguistic lines instead.

The meeting then turned into a frenzy of flying metaphors with Mr Thackeray again reinstating himself as a natural deity, saying "Generally when there is a storm outside I maintain my cool. But when there is silence outside, I create a storm. And if the weather outside isn't so stormy, but not that silent either, I watch Zee Marathi."

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