Wednesday, January 04, 2006

What I'm up to

For those who are unaware, I am currently enjoying a pretty undeserved vacation in India. It is currently extremely difficult for me to comment on matters of any relevance since I am using a dial-up connection which pretty much means I can only log on at night after 11:00 pm. And even after that, the connection speeds I get are pretty horrible. And I'm using IE 5.0. CNN hates IE 5.0. So does virtually every other web site in the world. So blogging has been reduced to a minimum.

But, today for the first time, I read IIPM's full-page advertisement in the paper edition of the Indian Express. Along with being an IIPM prospectus, it also contained a treatise on economics in the section they referred to as "Why IIPM's Course is Superior to Other MBAs". It contained the following salient points :

1.> Capitalism is not so hot. Communist China has a higher economic growth than capitalist countries. In fact, China's growth is, contrary to popular belief, not due to the propagation of unregulated sweatshops owned by American firms in China which slave daily to produce cheap merchandise in order to satisfy the consumer cravings of America's capitalist society, but due to China's government enforced planned economy. For India to succeed, it has to emulate China because capitalism, in case you missed it, is not so hot.
2.> IIPM will teach you how to emulate China without compromising on your civil liberties. Basically, you won't be imprisoned in "classrooms" held in "buildings" on "campuses".
3.> IIMs are utilizing the laws of demand and supply to maximize the salary of their graduates by spewing out a smaller number of graduates every year. These graduates, moreover, are inferior in quality to those of IIPM. IIPM will correct this imbalance by spewing out a greater number of their own graduates. How and why this will result in a higher salary for their graduates is a mystery. But it will happen. Pony tails do not lie.
4.> IIPM will let you in on the secret behind this mystery if you sign up.
5.> IIPM will send you on educational tours to "developed" countries. You will be given a free name tag for such tours with II_M written on it. You will be told that the P fell off but that it should not be an issue.
6.> Pune has an IIPM campus with a postal address. I will engage in some intrepid journalism by scouting it out and taking pictures to verify its existence.
7.> Fuck, I left my camera in my friend's car. I will obtain it from his car.
8.> Actually, it's right here in my closet. I am a fool.
9.> Fools like me need to apply to IIPM's 22 month diploma course which boasts 1944 hours worth of coursework where, among other things, they will instruct me on how not to lose my camera.
10.> IIPM is conducting placements for some of its own ventures. Ex-IIMs are invited to apply as well so that they can be made fun of during the interview and sent off packing in humiliation while a camera snaps pictures to place in next week's papers.

And finally, Arindam is best enjoyed in black and white.

No comments: