Notorious televangelist and douchebag of God, Pat Robertson, has announced on his television show, "The 700 Club" that he will henceforth be outsourcing all his apologizing duties to Bangalore, India. Robertson explained that an inordinately high number of recent episodes of him putting his foot in his mouth had required him to issue a huge number of apologies to the public. In order to make his apologizing more efficient, he has been forced to relegate that task to companies based in a country with an abundant apologetic workforce.
Robertson recently had to apologize to ailing Israeli Prime minister Ariel Sharon's son after he said that Sharon's stroke was divine retribution from God. A few months ago, Robertson had also apologized to his viewers after calling for an assassination of Venezuela President Hugo Chavez. Correctly noticing that by offering all his apologies in person, he was wasting a lot of precious time and resources which could be better allocated elsewhere, he contacted Wipro, a reputed BPO operating out of Bangalore, India.
"We were glad to help Mr Robertson in his apologizing", said Kamal Mehta, a Wipro sales executive. "The advantage of outsourcing your apologies to Indian BPOs is that, since India has a lot of cheap labor with a huge inferiority complex with respect to the West, it makes Indians very well-versed and extremely proficient in the art of apologizing."
In other news, David Hasselhof has divorced Pamela Bach, his wife of 16 years after he came to realize that she was not as proficient in the art of performing CPR as he had previously believed.