Monday, January 16, 2006

Tired of masturbating, BJP youths take to the streets

BJP youth activists, fed up with a life of ceaseless genital flagellation and self pleasuring, took to the streets of Indore today to voice their protest against the arrival of their masturbatory muse in the city. Activists of the Bharatiya Janata Yuva Morcha (BJYM) ran wild through the city, tearing up posters of Mallika Sherawat, an Indian actress, for causing irreparable harm to Indian youths by forcing them to indulge in self-gratification more frequently than usual.

"She has crossed all boundaries in making us cross all boundaries in letting out our bottled-up sexual frustration", said a BJYM leader. "If all of India's brilliant young minds are mentally engaged in the activity of trying to imagine how Miss Sherawat's soft and lusciously creamy flesh would feel to a groping BJP hand, who is going to work towards India's progress?" "Down with the anti-Indian temptress", said another teenaged BJP activist who was observed meticulously tearing up posters of Miss Sherawat's new film "Khwahish" and folding them into algebra textbook sized wads.

Senior BJP leaders voiced their agreement with the stand taken by their party juveniles. "If Mallika Sherawat wants to showcase her body in her movies, then she has a moral and ethical obligation to make that body available to each and every young man in India. A failure to do so would be against Indian culture."

India's fragile democracy, which has always had to contend with religious conflict, has lately also had to overcome gender conflict and the problem of Indian women abusing their freedoms by declining to wear suitable attire in public, consequently leading to Indian men abusing their reproductive organs. With regard to this issue, the BJP has emerged as the only political party principled enough to stand for the rights of abused penises throughout the country by infringing upon the rights of Indian women responsible for their abuse.

Miss Sherawat's spokesman has commented on the controversy, saying, "Miss Sherawat thanks her fans for their devotion and pledges to make many more of her body parts available for their viewing pleasure in her upcoming films."

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