Thursday, July 14, 2005

45% of America lose trust in Bush, rest out having tea with the tooth fairy.

Polls show sainted holy leader George "Pinocchio" Bush is fast falling from public trust. 45% of those asked gave Bush low marks for being "honest and straightforward."The president, when asked for a response said "Well if I AM a liar as the public suggests, how do you explain my pants not being on fire?". Karl Rove, the president's porco-reptilian advisor, emerging from his burrow in the floor of the oval office, interjected "Hey look at Clinton. Now there's a liar if you want one. And look what happened to him. He got impeached. On second thoughts, forget what I said. Look Look a shooting star.", before slithering back inside.

41% still believe the president to be a honest, straightforward person. A majority of these however, were unavailable for comment,some refusing to relax their fireplace vigil since last Christmas, hoping Santa Claus might still show up, others hot on the trail of the Easter bunny.

The remaining undocumented 14% have reportedly been carted off to Vice President Dick "Prick" Cheney's castle in the wastelands of Wyoming to slake his thirst for virgin blood.

In unrelated news, The American Institute of Common Sense (AICS) has commenced work on a research project entitled "What the fuck is wrong with 41% of the country".




Hume's Ghost said...

Well, when you live in a country where more people believe that we're being visited by aliens than believe that we evolved from a primate ancestor its no surprise that politicians are able to deceive and manipulate the public.

gawker said...

Right-o ... Check my post on the museum of creationism.

Pearl said...

What a great title of post. Clearly some are getting a whole other set of messages than I'm receiving if they're beleiving something I found as incredulous as that.