Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Proud fathers defend wayward sons

The father of Mohammed "Knobgobbler" Atta, also known in terrorist circles as "Bin Laden's bitch", in a CNN interview, praised the recent London bomb attacks and said many more would follow. Atta's father, Mohamed El-Amir said the attacks in the United States and the July 7 attacks in London were the beginning of what would be a 50-year religious war, in which there would be many more fighters like his son. On being asked what happens after 50 years, he replied "I think we run out of fighters". Cursing in Arabic, el-Amir also denounced Arab leaders and Muslims who condemned the London attacks as being traitors and non-Muslims. El-Amir then requested $5000 from the CNN crew for the interview, announcing his intention to invest the cash in future terrorist endeavours. CNN reportedly refused to put up the amount, not because it did not want to finance a terrorist operation, but because "It is CNN policy not to pay people for interviews", thus putting to rest any doubts lurking in people's minds about media conglomerates engaging in unethical journalistic practices.

Elsewhere, ex-President George H.W Bush was overheard praising his son, George "President" Bush's war on terror. "George was a whiny little bitch as a kid, but he sure has blossomed into a great president. And, like a great leader, he will carry out his mission of bringing democracy to the middle east to it's logical conclusion, no matter how many other people's children he has to sacrifice." "And I think it's admirable", continued Bush, "I would be prepared to sacrifice my own son to the cause of democracy, and by God, sometimes I feel like doing it too, when I look at his squinty little face and smug self-righteous smirk and all I can think of is how the fuck could such an asstool have sprung from the depths of my loins, but getting back to the point", said the ex-President, wiping his brow, unclenching his fists and emptying the bunches of his freshly pulled out hair, "It's just that George has always been a bit squeamish, he can't stand the sight of blood." On being asked how he would respond to Democratic Party leaders, as well as leaders of his own party who oppose the Iraq war, he replied "Well, they are providing succour and relief to the terrorists of course, and should be tried for treason."

George H.W Bush and Mohamed El-Amir are currently in the process of planning a get-together, hoping to find comfort and solace in each other's arms as fathers of misunderstood and underappreciated sons.


chappan said...

Absolutely hilarious man. Your posts are funny. Keep em coming.

Sunil said...

I think you'll enjoy the borowitz reports (if you don't read them already).

gawker said...

thank you chappan sir may god bless your kind words

sunil .. the borovitz report is already on my list of links heh