Thursday, July 07, 2005

Bush falls from bike, says hello to approval ratings

Bumbling president-appointee George "My twins are hot, yours are not" Bush fell from his bicycle again, this time in Scotland. This is yet another feather in the president's cap, who has boldly proclaimed his goal to fall off his bike on every continent on the planet. "When you ride hard on a mountain bike sometimes you fall -- otherwise you are not riding hard," was the astute presidential reasoning behind the fall. Scott McClellan, the White House spokesperson intoned "If we are not free to fall off our bicycles, the terrorists win."

"It was the end of a good hard ride and the pavement was slick.", continued the president, impatiently. "And I was thinking about Iraq and Osama Bin Laden and Saddam's ridiculously large.. know..heh heh". The president, acutely aware of the absence of a teleprompter, further explained "Bicycling, like fighting a war against terror, is hard work. It is hard work, and freedom is on the march on a bike from which it will never fall."

The last time the president fell off his bike, the blame was jointly assigned to the rain, the slick earth, his biking shorts, ex-President William Jefferson Clinton and God.

Past presidential bumblings include falling off a Segway human transporter, choking and blacking out while eating a pretzel and invading Iraq while actually hunting for Osama Bin Laden.


Anonymous said...

Assuming it was satire, I am not sure how you can fit a truism in here:

"When you ride hard on a mountain bike sometimes you fall -- otherwise you are not riding hard".

All mountain bikers (I am kinda) know that if you ride, you gotta fall sooner or later. As the brits say "Sod Off".

gawker said...

As it happens, that part was not satirical. It is actually what our fearless leader said to explain his fall.

Ashu M said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ashu M said...

Darn it - now you fellas have kinxed me and I bet I'll suffer my first fall from my mountain bike this weekend. However, inspired by our fearless reader, I do aspire to enjoy a few good rides this weekend. Can't let those terrorists win, now can I? :)

I promise to post a few pictures to my photoblog too ... unless I fall. In which case I'll come back here and cuss you out!