Hurricane Emily, following in the footsteps of Hurricane Dennis, who rampaged Cuba and western Florida, is now a category 4 hurricane. A Category 4 hurricane is capable of causing extensive structural damage and inundating coastal areas with up to 18 feet of storm surge.
Hurricane Dennis, on the other hand, having expended a lot of his energy on Florida, is now a shadow of his former self and barely a sprinkle in Indiana. "You could say Dennis ran out of fuel.", said John Kwiatkowski, the National Weather Service science officer in Indianapolis. "But right now, the consensus is, Emily is the goods. Boy she's a wild one."
Dennis, on being asked for a comment replied "Hey, gimme a break, look at all the shit I tore up in Florida, you think a woman's gonna be able do that? Goddamn feminists. It wasn't like this in the good old days".
Emily, on her way to Jamaica, is expected to take a short detour to Miami, where she expressed a desire to get a massage and a facial before continuing on her journey of death and destruction.
In other news, the male "Aka" pygmies of Africa, who were recently crowned the best dads in the world for allowing their kids to suckle on their manboobs while the moms were out shopping and having a good time, have lately begun to demand that their wives start spending more time at home and that they did not get married just to stay at home, nurse babies and cook and clean.
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