Following the terror attacks in Amman, Sheikh Osama Bin Laden, notorious terrorist and leader of the repressed world, has raised the terror alert level in Jordan to red, standing for "There's a suicide bomber in your backyard".
Appearing on television, the terrorist leader vowed to bomb more hotels that were acting as centers for American and Western diplomats. He further encouraged people to buy a lot of duct tape in case he decided to go with mustard gas at the last minute.
Critics of Bin Laden have taken issue with his raising of the terror level. Some claim that Bin Laden is using the terror alert system as a weapon of leverage and using scaremongering tactics to shore up his falling approval ratings among the local populace, that are currently at an all-time low in the wake of the recent Al-Qaida perpetrated bomb attacks. If that were really Bin Laden's goal, then it has seemed to have succeeded. While only 30% of Jordanians now say that they would be willing to carry out terrorist attacks for their leader, a full 100% say they would do so if the alternative were to get attacked instead.
Bin Laden has denied these charges of trying to scare people into terrorism by raising the terror level for no valid reason. He claims that the terror level has been raised due to credible information of terrorists operating in the area, those terrorists being under his command.
In other news, President Bush is scheduled to visit Mongolia as a part of the "No-Protest Tour" of countries that do not hate America enough to organize widespread protests at his visit.