Wednesday, November 23, 2005

First Family swamped with thousands of Thanksgiving uninvites

On the eve of Thanksgiving, President Bush and the First Family have been bombarded with thousands of fictional letters refusing admission to Thanksgiving dinners throughout the country. These numerous uninvites, from members of the electorate who voted him into office in 2004, all seek to inform the President that the imaginary invitation to their Thanksgiving dinners this thursday has been withdrawn.

During the 2004 election, a number of Republican voters who had expressed their dog-like devotion and support for the president because of his "regular guy" persona, had, in their minds, conjured up figmental scenarios where they would be inviting the president into their homes once he was elected, on the occasion of Thanksgiving. However, after the disastrous performance of his presidency, along with growing public mistrust of the President himself, most of these people have since changed their minds about hob-nobbing with the leader of the free world.

"Georgie sure seemed a decent un' to break bread with, and afterwards, share a cold beer with, while sitting on the porch watching the sun set", commented one Russ Miller of South Bend, Indiana. "Now I wouldn't invite the goshdarned lyin' son of a gun into my town, leave alone my home. No Thanksgiving turkey for you, Mr. President", raged the disapproving gentleman.

Analysts say that if this trend of anti-Bush sentiment continues through winter, the president can look forward to being uninvited from numerous imaginary summer barbeques as well. Although data is inconclusive, it also seems fairly certain that Americans would much rather not flip burgers with Mr Bush anymore or allow him free access to their businesses and bank accounts.

In unrelated news, the ACLU has stepped up to fight on the behalf of practising members of the Ungrateful Community who claim to be discriminated against by being forced to celebrate Thanksgiving every year.

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