Kansas residents proud to be products of incest

The Kansas Education Board today voted to support the teaching of Intelligent Design, or, as it is called in the scientific community, the "Blame it on God" theory, in school classrooms alongside evolution. The theory of Intelligent Design, which basically states that anything that is too complex for your puny brain to grasp must have causes too deep and impenetrable for everyone else to grasp as well, believes that God created Adam and Eve about 5000 years ago and that all humans are therefore, direct descendants of the First Couple.

By affirming Intelligent Design, Kansas has proudly voiced it's support for incest, thus confirming suspicions the rest of the country already had about most of it's inhabitants. Since Adam and Eve were the only two people on the planet, for mankind to have propagated, it would have been necessary for everyone to mate with their siblings, thus leading to the conclusion that everybody on the planet is a product of incest.

While the theory of evolution successfully explains the origin and development of life on the planet, it has failed to find a receptive audience in Kansas, where the population often looks to it's schools to reaffirm their own pre-existing views on scientific, religious and cultural matters. Since evolution does not provide a moral justification for incest, it has been vociferously rejected by citizens for being culturally out of touch with the ground reality in that state.

Many Kansas residents were happy with the vote that officially validated their inbred lifestyle. A Kansas resident when asked to comment replied, "The state edumacation board dun good by the progalateriat . Now if it woulda only passed a law sayun Eve coulda been a goat, it be darn tootin."

In related news, the school board that voted to teach Intelligent Design in Dover, Pennsylvania, and then had parents file a lawsuit against it, was ousted in school board elections, causing members of the school board as well as Rick Santorum, the Republican senator from Pennsylvania, to move to Kansas.

Update : I have noticed that my blog audience includes at least one reader from Kansas. Since you, Sir, are reading my blog, you probably do not subscribe to the views of the rest of Kansas and hence, are exempt from my criticism.

Pharyngula bids adieu to Kansas. (via The Thescian).