Thursday, November 10, 2005

President organizes mass surrender of Al Qaida members in New York mass transit

President Bush, in a bold new initiative to fight terrorism, has organized a mass surrender of Al Qaida members in New York City (via WTF). The President has issued an open invite to all members of Al Qaida scattered throughout the world to visit New York City on September 11 2006, and added an assurance that everybody who surrenders on that day along with their weapons and strap-on bombs, would be provided amnesty and a free subway pass to travel around the city for one full day.

In order to discourage fake terrorists from trying to avail of this offer, a checkpoint will be set up at JFK airport, where potential Al Qaida members will be required to demonstrate their famed ruthlessness and thirst for infidel blood before being admitted into the country. In order to avoid making these men feel out of place or self conscious about being head-chopping suicide-bombing terrorists, surveillance cameras will temporarily be turned off all over the city. In addition, authenticated terrorists will be provided with detailed maps of New York with the city's major tourist and financial landmarks clearly marked on them, in order to enhance their New York experience.

Newly elected Republican mayor of New York, Michael Bloomberg, has supported the President's initiative. New York tourism has been down since 9/11, he said, and this initiative might just be the shot in the arm it needs. Or a bomb in the bus.

Democrats have expressed cautious reserve about this plan, saying this smells like some kind of a sneaky scheme by the president to boost his sinking approval ratings, but they just can't seem to figure out what it could be.

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