Monday, November 14, 2005

God vetoes bill authorizing obliteration of Dover, PA

In an unexpected move, The Almighty God And Creator of All that Exists and Used to Exist used His power of veto to quash the bill passed by the Heavenly Assembly to unleash death and destruction upon the small town of Dover, Pennsylvania. Dover, PA was recently in the news when the town school board, which had voted to incorporate the teaching of Intelligent Design in the school curriculum, was soundly defeated in board elections by an informed citizenry. This led to the Rev. Pat Robertson, the Right Hand of God, and Heavenly Tool of Ecstasy, to file a request in the Assembly seeking immediate annihilation of the town on the charge of being Godless infidels.

The bill then passed the critical perusal of most Heavenly lawmakers, except the angel Baglis, who was reportedly suffering from a severe addiction to Dover crab apple pies, and was about to be signed into law when God threw a spanner into the works. "After careful scrutiny of the bill and pondering upon the merits of the facts on the basis of which this bill rests, I have concluded that there exists insufficient evidence of any wrongdoing on behalf of the good citizens of Dover that would justify unleashing of any kind of plague upon them", said God. "Therefore, I must, albeit regretfully, exercize my legally assigned power of veto to override this bill. Unless the Rev Robertson can come up with demonstrable evidence of miscreancy, like, for example, unclean thoughts on the part of any individual in Dover pertaining to murder or other items of sin forbidden by the Ten Commandments, this bill shall remain in purgatory where it belongs".

God then rebuked the Reverend for bringing up frivolous items for the Assembly's consideration and wasting it's time that could have been better utilized drawing out a list of utterly painful maltreatments awaiting the President of America, George W Bush in Hell once his earthly existence reaches it's final conclusion.

This is the first time that God has had to exercize his power of veto on the Assembly since His vetoes of Jerry Falwell's bill condemning all homosexuals to death after the 9/11 terrorist attacks and that of the homosexual community condemning Jerry Falwell to a life of homosexuality shortly thereafter.

The Reverend, on being informed about God's decision, has vowed to fight the decision, even to the extent of bringing it to the notice of the Dark Lord, Satan who operates out of his headquarters in Camden, New Jersey.

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