Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Apple announces the release of the I-pill

Apple Computers, having achieved a major breakthrough in it's never-ending quest to miniaturize the popular I-pod MP3 player, has finally come up with a version that is small enough to be orally ingested. The new player, called the I-pill, will be available in pharmacies worldwide in January 2006.

Steve Jobs, on being asked to comment on the new product said, "This is a revolutionary new technology, the only one of it's kind where a person will be able to consume music in a whole new way. This also eliminates the need for using headphones, which as everyone knows, might be responsible for causing premature hearing loss."

The I-pill will be sold in a variety of flavors, lemon yellow, apple red, strawberry pink (for the ladies) and chipotle.

On being asked how the I-pill would play audible music after being swallowed, an Apple technician replied, "The I-pill is currently incapable of reproducing music. You can, however, store a thousand GB worth of audio files on it. Also, it is very small in size and contains all the circuitry of the original I-pod in miniaturized form. And it has been known to cure constipation, while being able to withstand the immune system of the body at the same time. Isn't that great?"

Apple marketing executives warn that the I-pill does not prevent sexually transmitted diseases or possess any contraceptive properties.

In related news, Apple is currently working on a microscopic version of it's I-pill, which has been tentatively named I-nvisible.


lumi said...

I think I need a hajmola tablet after that....

gawker said...

it comes in a hajmola flavor as well

chappan said...

Now only if the FDA would approve the RU-486, it could be marked with the "morning after pill" with the tagline "Getting rid of unwanted pregnancy, will now be music to your ears"!!!

gawker said...

Ah an Apple again being the cause of sin .. that would be a final irony for the religious nutjobs.