Friday, September 16, 2005

Judge rules uttering God's name during on-screen sex acts unconstitutional

In a landmark victory for the forces of atheism in America, a judge has ruled that any on-screen sex act that culminates in the utterance of a word referencing God or His son is unconstitutional and shall be punishable by law.

This class action lawsuit brought about by the Fornicating Actor's Guild against the Association of Pornographic Movie Producers reflected the growing desire in adult film actors to maintain the separation of church and sex that had lately been under threat from overly religious adult movie producers. When asked about the need for this class action lawsuit, one of the plaintiffs in the case who refused to supply her name said, "As an atheist, it offends my sensibilities when my producer asks me to scream out 'Jesus Christ, I'm coming'. Since I do not believe in Jesus Christ or in orgasms, this goes entirely against my belief structure, and is tantamount to harassment at the workplace."

A spokesman for the Movie Producer's Association, when asked to comment, replied "We tried replacing 'Jesus Christ' with 'Non-Denominational Supreme Being Who Might Not Exist', but somehow that does not seem to carry the same effect. It's too complex for our average clientele to relate to and hence, bad for business. Many of our customers have returned their purchases, complaining that they couldn't follow the plot at the end."

In a remarkable case of bipartisan consensus, religious right-wing organizations have agreed with the decision, saying "Sex is a spawn of Satan, so the gratuitous utterance of God's name during this foul act is a heinous crime. We applaud the judge's decision."

In other news, Wikipedia has announced that it will no longer allow the White House to make any more changes to it's section on "Rationale for the Iraq War", citing a lack of credibility and server space (via horkulated).

Disclaimer : The contents of this blog are mostly fictional. Some might be fact-based, but that would be coincidental. The accuracy of these fact-based contents should, in no way, cast an aspersion upon the inherent fictionality of this blog.