Hundreds of war supporters rally in Washington DC motel room

Supporters of the Iraq war today rallied in the hundreds in Washington DC to express their view that the war in Iraq should be continued because their friends and loved ones were serving over there. About 20,000 people were expected for the rally, support for the war being at an all-time high, and so, it was a bit of a let-down when only a few hundred showed up to make their point.

"We had erected huge pavilions and stadiums with hundreds of security personnel in order to accomodate all the people who we were sure would arrive for the rally, said an organizer. "But ultimately, all we needed was just a motel room and a poster of Hillary Clinton to deface, since it turned out to be just a hundred people."

"The group who spoke here the other day did not represent the American ideals of freedom, liberty and spreading that around the world," Sen. Jeff Sessions, an Alabama Republican, told the crowd, referring to the anti-war rally that had occurred in Washington DC the previous day. "I can tell you that the few of us here in this motel room who are still in a relative state of sobriety and not watching pay-per-view adult films, are in no way represented by the 150,000 people who gathered here yesterday in a treasonous display of affection for America's enemies."

The US army, currently suffering from a lack of new recruits and encouraged by the turnout at the pro-war rally, has decided to organize a number of pro-war rallies at all it's recruiting offices throughout the country in an attempt to identify prospective recruits.

In other news, President Bush has declared that the scientific community, previously having been repressed under an oligarchic regime, has finally been liberated. "Science has long been under the oppressive rule of a few selected so-called "scientists". We have now planted the seed of democracy in the scientific community which will allow every ordinary American to have a say in it's functioning. This is a major victory for our vision of spreading democracy throughout the world."