President Bush has announced that he will henceforth only use sign language in all his dealings with the media and the public in general. The decision to not subject Americans to the President's voice any more was taken after it was found that President Bush's approval ratings had actually fallen to 35% after his speech from New Orleans (via ThinkProgress). Before the speech, his ratings were a good solid 39%.
"Americans have sent out a clear message that they do not want to hear the President's voice anymore. In fact, every bit of evidence points to a consensus of opinion among Americans that they would like him to stop talking and shut the hell up", said a political analyst at CNN. "In that sense, the decision taken by the President to henceforth only use sign language for propaganda purposes might turn out to be an extremely wise one."
Critics of the administration were vocal in their opposition to this latest decision. "Granted, the very sound of his voice makes me want to shove a corkscrew up my nose and twist it around, and it is also true that if I hear him snigger one more time on camera I will probably go stark raving mad, but I am still against this transparent attempt by the President to give himself a free pass for lying indiscriminately, so that later he can always say "You know, I never really 'said' that", commented one caustic presidential detractor.
In other news, President Bush has announced that Osama Bin Laden has finally been captured and safely escorted to Pakistan, where he will remain under country arrest, thus bringing an end to the War on Terror.